My dearest daughter,
You were born at a time when the world had changed. The country was in lockdown and uncertainty stained the air. But you were due, there was no changing that. I couldn't go back and replan your due date to make you arrive at a less scary time. You were coming and I had to prepare.
Your brothers and sister were no longer at school. They patiently anticipated your arrival with me, days felt longer when we couldn't go anywhere, no shopping, no play dates, no parks, no cinemas, no eating out or zoos. Just one hour to exercise outside the house. With a mum who was nine months pregnant our activities were limited.
Daddy was at home with us, his work closed for a whole five weeks. Quite possibly the only time in our lives when this would happen. Daddy wasn't allowed to come to your scans though nor hear your heart beat or even be with me in the hospital after you were born. But I had you, kicking away reminding me of better days to come. All the doctors, nurses, and midwifes spoke to us through masks, in full PPE for their protection and ours. Hand sanitiser was strapped to every bed, by every door and applied before and after every contact.
The country was encouraged by the government to stand on our door steps every Thursday evening and clap for the National Health Service, to thank our doctors and nurses for being on the front line, protecting us from this deadly virus. However, they were not provided with the best personal protective equiptment. Many of them caught the virus and lost their lives, yet, once lockdown was eased they were refused a pay rise.
Despite the huge change to our lives, most enjoyed the lockdown. We certainly enjoyed spending time together as a family in our own safe bubble. You, your brothers and sister enjoyed getting to know each other better, bonding with you and exploring the village we live in. Home learning had its challenges as did most things, even going for a food shop was a half day outing for daddy as he stood in two mile queues just to enter Asda.
When you did arrive, no one could meet you. Your nanny met you through a window, she stood one side and us the other to keep you safe. Those first newborn days quickly crept by and here I am now putting away your newborn and 0-3 clothes as you have outgrown this stage. I couldnt even register your birth until you were 14 weeks old.
Most say that 2020 has been a write off, a waste, but not for us because we had you, my dear sweet girl, my distraction from the chaos outside, my light in the darkness, the missing piece to our family puzzle. You came at a time when we needed joy and wow didn’t you deliver!
Although I couldn't plan this, and despite the obvious fear of having a baby during a global pandemic, your arrival made it all the more sweet. I hope that one day you will look back on this and the world will have changed again. You will look back and know that you were one of the few born during lockdown. You will know that because of you I found a strength I didnt know I had. To be brave in the face of fear. In the scary moments I vowed to be the best mum to all of you children that I possibly could be. After all, when the world fell apart we had each other.
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