As hashtag 'butnotmaternity' floods my instagram feed, I feel more and more that this IS something we NEED to talk about!
Covid has stripped many woman of their pregnancy journeys, their birth plans, their newborn and breastfeeding support. THIS IS NOT OK!
While one hand its ok for a group of six lads to go to the pub and enjoy a drink together, mums are attending their 12 weeks scans completely alone, unsure if they will hear those dreaded words 'your baby has no heart beat,' Dads are sat at home (or in the car as my husband did) waiting to hear if things are OK, feeling completely helpless not knowing if their baby is developing well.
Woman are attending a midwife appointment to be told they must go into hospital because they’re statistically not where they should be, all the while terrified that they must attend alone. Mothers are scared to phone the hospital to report their babies lack of movement because hospitals are a scary place to be right now and your only support must wait outside.
A pregnant mum is allowed to work in hospital, but they are not allowed their husband on the prenatal ward while they are in the early stages of labour. Any one who has been in labour and knows how awful is can be knows how in this moment How important that support is.
New mums are sat at home scared that they won't be able to have their partner and their own mums there to hold their hands. They must choose between them. I was lucky that I had my first child 8 years ago and could have them both. New mothers right now, are not getting that option. My heart weeps for them.
I had a baby during 2020 who was breech. I was told I needed a c-section as this was the safest way to deliver her. This was terrifying for me after having 3 natural births with my other children. I was made to enter the hospital at 7am alone. My husband had to wait outside until I was taken down to theatre at 3pm. 8 hours I had to sit on the prenatal ward alone, contracting, waiting, worried, scared and this wasnt even my first child, this was my fourth!
New mums in 2020 deserve absolute recognition for having a first baby in this, because I cant imagine how scary this is for them! I was scared and I'm experienced in these matters.
And to really rub salt in the wound, having your pregnancy journey stripped from you, followed by your birth plan, the newborn stage is also being taken. No baby groups. No weigh-ins. No support groups. Breastfeeding support via a zoom call if you're lucky enough to get an appointment time.
Statistically there are more mums giving up their breastfeeding journey because no support is available for them. You can not even have your mum over for a coffee and a chat if your house hold is larger than 6 (as mine is).
And why??? Because going to the pub, or to a restaurant or going to a shopping mall puts money back into the economy, where as giving women the choice of who is in her birth space does not! Money Over people every time. Restrictions were lifted months ago for shops, pubs, restaurants so why are we still waiting for this to change? Why are woman still being forced to attended emergency scans alone? Why are woman still labouring without their support networks?. Why are the mental health of mothers being pushEd aside and ignored? MPs keep saying they will have the discussions, but when? We NEED change and we need it now.
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