It was like I blinked, one moment you're a tiny newborn of 8lbs, nestled sweetly in my arms, and next thing I know there you are, school bag in hand trying to quickly shuttle me out of the door so you can begin your very first day of school.
It seems no matter how hard we try to fight it, time is stealing away your babyhood, and now you're a big boy starting school. You're keen for this, you have spent the last few years listening to your brother and sister share with us their days at school, Christmas activities, sports days, school trips. They have initiated the spark of excitement in you I hope this lasts, I really do. You are ready, but I am not.
Meanwhile, I am stood knowing our time together, days of searching for ducks, days of building train tracks and home painting have quickly passed and now only scheduled to weekend or school holidays. No longer will I be able to hold your hand on the return school run and spend an hour stopping to look at each worm that wiggled its way onto the path in the morning due.
I treasure the time we had, mummy and baby days, I knew they would end eventually it was the speed that took me by surprise. Another child of school age, another milestone completed. A new stage to begin.
This year It feels even more strange, you see, I've had all of you children at home with me since March, we've had six whole months of being together, three of these we were in lockdown, confined to the village, only going where we could in our one hour walk. In this time your bond together has grown. Mummy had another baby and you've been able to watch her grow. We've had long walks and played in rivers. We also had days of home schooling, Joe wicks PE or cosmo kids yoga. We've painted A LOT. We added our decorated stones to the village stone snake. We did all of this without the worry of when it will end. We created a new normal. But today that ends. Today we go back to the old ways governed by timings and routines.
I desperately hope you enjoy school, that you would make friends, that you love learning, that you're kind to others and others are kind to you. I hope I have taught you enough that you feel confident in your ability to be independent, to be resilient, to be brave.
I take comfort in knowing your brother and sister wont be too far if you should need them. They will make you feel safe when I can not.
I hope your teachers see how beautiful your soul is, how precious you are, how you always try to make good choices. I'm sure they will always pick you up when you fall, clean your grazes and wipe your tears. I know your a big boy now but its OK to be little sometimes too if only for a second to have that cuddle.
So go, my boy, and begin your new adventure. I am going to be right here cheering you on every step of the way. I know you will achieve great things, I have known this since the first time I set my eyes on your tiny little face. I'm beyond proud of you today, as I have been everyday.
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