Recently, I decided to start a course to become a breastfeeding mother supporter. On the application it asked why I wanted to do this course, I answered with something along the lines of 'I want to support other mum's who have faced similar challenges to me...' etc. This later got me thinking, what has led me to want to do this, and over recent days, the reason has become more clear. Like most breastfeeding mum's, I am realising that there is a lack of support that goes with it, whether this is from friends, family or the general public.
Breastfeeding is tough and having comments like 'how long are you going to do that for?' 'when are they going on formula?' 'doesn't breastfeeding ruin your boobs?' 'Will you be more comfortable covering up or doing that somewhere more private?' Yeah I've heard them all and sometimes from those who claim to be supportive!
I have also had formula feeding mum's try to shame me for breastfeeding as though I do it as my way of shaming them for not. No matter how much I insist that I am just a supporter of feeding babies and it's a choice. It sometimes seems breastfeeding mum's are made to feel like their choice offends someone.
On the flip side, I did in fact chose to bottle feed my first born after many challenges with breastfeeding, I hold no guilt about this decision anymore. That is what was right for us at the time physically and emotionally. Formula feeding mum's face similar judgments, less support in hospital for not choosing to breastfeed or questions as to whether they have 'problems'. The pressure from health professionals to give it a go, who may fail to notice that there are personal reasons why you don't want to, or tell you to persevere through the pain of cracked nipples and engorgement even if this makes you unhappy. Or just that silent eye roll when you say 'I just didn't want too' after sharing your body for 9 months with a little human it's perfectly reasonable to say that and who can blame you!
There ARE studies that show how amazing breast milk is in terms of development BUT that doesn't mean formula isn't packed full of nutrients too! It also doesn't mean I am going to pull those studies out my bag and start waving them in your face. The reason I chose to breastfeed to begin with was a far more of a selfish reason - it was the convenience of it, the fact I have milk on tap, no washing, making, heating, cooling. I'm lucky that I can do it this time round. So why am I doing the course? Because I believe in supporting mum's to feed their babies... whether you breastfeed, bottle feed, combine feed, express (I sure have done all of these) as long as you do feed your baby whatever way you choose, I am a supporter of that. Let's stop judging and shaming, let's change the way we think, parenting is hard enough without this never ending breast vs bottle debate.
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